Strengthening The Bond Between Grandparents And Grandchildren

Kids and their grandparents share a special connection. According to Arthur Kornhaber, M.D., president of the Santa Fe based Foundation for Grandparenting, “A child senses an unconditional love and spiritual peace with grandparents. Grandparents are crazy about grandchildren simply because they exist, while parents are more conscious of raising a child, setting limits and enforcing discipline.”

Having the grandparents be a part of their grandchild’s life is so rewarding on so many levels. Both the child and the grandparents get to experience the joy they bring to each other without conditions or expectations. This bond is priceless. However, in this age of infidelity often grandparents can have some doubts about whether or not the child they are emotionally invested in is in fact really their grandchild.

This doubt can be quite disruptive emotionally and can prevent the full bonding that is possible between grandparents and their grandchildren. With the DNA technology so readily available today having the children and their father take a direct paternity test together would be the most accurate and definitive answer to biological paternity questions and is highly recommended for both the father and the paternal grandparent’s peace of mind not to mention the father’s legal rights.

It is not always possible to do direct paternity testing for a variety of reasons. Often just suggesting possible infidelity can cause more trouble than it’s worth and can permanently damage otherwise healthy relationships.

If doing direct paternity testing is not an option then the grandparents can test themselves with the grandchild in a grandparent DNA test. Since the child inherits 50% of his or her DNA from each parent then they would inherit 25% from each grandparent. Because there is less DNA to compare having both paternal grandparents test with the child will make the test results stronger although a high percentage of tests can be confirmed with only one grandparent.

Once the doubts are removed it emotionally frees up the grandparent to completely bond with their grandchild which is something that both the child and grandparent need.

Making time in the schedule for grandparents to spend time with the grandkids is also something that can help strengthen the bond between grandparents and grandchildren and should be a priority for every parent. Not only does it give the parents a much needed break but it also gives the child and the grandparent a time to just have fun together without all the discipline children experience from their parents or that the grandparents had to give to their children when they were raising them. Its a win win for everyone.